baby lyla is turning ONE!

Tomorrow is Lyla's first birthday.
I hardly have words to describe how this child make me feel. She has truely been a blessing for both Johnny and I.
I cant believe that one year ago I went to the doctor because of that stupid PUPPS rash thing and the doctor came in and saw what kind of mental state I was in, and announced that she was calling the hospital to see if we could get a room. When she walked out I remember looking Johnny, with scared eyes and asked "maybe we should wait"- but we call knew I couldnt wait because the PUPPS were about to put in a mental coma- not really- but thats how I felt. The doctor came back in and said, be at the hospital at 1 pm. We left there with a joyful but scared and anxious feeling. I remember, my mom, Johnny and I went and ate lunch at Zaxbys and called, texted and facebooked everyone we knew to let them know what was happening. (who knew that that Zaxbys meal would be the last food I would eat until almost 15 hours later.) We arrived at the hospital and I remember I was shaking so bad I couldnt fill out the paper work. A few mintues later all the fun began. I got hooked up to the iv and the potocin and more benadril for that rash. The nurse said maybe you should sleep while you can, whatever! there was no sleeping for this one who knew she was about to push out a baby. I think the rest is pretty much known that from 1:30pm to 3:54 am the next morning we went through contractions and an epidural. It was time for lyla to come but she was being stubborn with being faceup she didnt want to move. I remember being so so scared because by that point I was ready to quit. Johnny got in my face and encouraged me to not stop that lyla was almost here and I couldnt give up now, not after all this. So the vaccum was in place, at first it popped off, which by the way I did not love that sound!, then the doctor said ok one more time and if it doesnt work we have c-section papers ready for you. I said a silent prayer to myself to please send an angel to help both me and lyla. And well the rest is history and now she is truning one. ONE.

It just amazes me to see how much she has grown and how smart she is. From the first sitting up by herself to the first roll over, the first standing alone, the first tooth (which we thought was taking forever!), and the first smile, the first laugh, and now the first birthday.

I thank god everyday for this amazing gift that He gave Johnny and I. She is everything and more to us. I love her more than I love myself. When I look at her I see our lives and I see everyone in our families through her eyes. Especially my dad. I know alot of people dont see what I see, but I swear on days that I am missing my dad so bad it hurts, I look at her and I can see him looking at me. It honestly makes me tear up, but then I smile because I can feel him being there.

We had a birthday party for lyla on saturday. It was great. There were so many people with so many gifts, and we are truely blessed to have such great family and friends.

Well this was a long blog post but since I havent posted in a LONG time, I thought why not tell the pregnancy story...... so there you go.....

Now in December I will hopefully be traveling to California to help my best friend deliver her first baby :) I can not express how excited I am for her and her husband, but more than that I am truley thankful for her asking me to be in the delivery room. There is no one in the world I would rather help than her :) She is amazing! and I know her baby girl will be!

Well- Its time to wipe my tears away and get back to work-

~wishes~

I was looking through my phone and found this under contacts : dad visit - 919-581-1035
How I WISH I could call that number and schedule an appointment.
And I cant bring myself to ever delete that entry because a part of me still wants to call that number. Shoot, I would settle for a glance through a window at this point.
(big sigh and tears)

Just thought I'd get that out there.
And sometimes I say to myself, April stop. He's gone. But I just cant do that, because to me, he is not gone. And I dont want to believe that he is gone. So I will not stop. Its human nature to feel that way. So for now I will just keep wishing.
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On another note, lets talk about how my baby girl is doing! She is soooo smart. Here she is 10 months and almost 2 weeks and she can say "ma-ma" "da-da" "ba-ba" "pa-pa" "lily" "baby" "bye bye" "hey there" and she can (try) to bark :) its soo cute! She is just growing up way to fast! She is not walking yet, but we are working on it. AND still no teeth- but in time that will happen. Her hair is growning out of c ontrol now, its thick and everywhere! When she gets up in the mornings she looks like she been in a wind storm, its funny.
I cant believe that in a little over a month she will be turning 1! I think back to that monday when I went to the doctor because that crazy rash was driving me crazy, and the doctor says "I am going to see if we can get you a room"- I was like, a room where?- She just smiled and left the room. She came back and said be at the hospital at 1pm. At that moment, I will admit, I was scared to death. But boy I'm glad she is here! I would not trade her for anything in the world.

And now this weekend, it will be busy for and lyla. Saturday is a full day! First on the agenda is the MSA walk here in Greenville. Then there is actually 2 birthday parties we need to attend but I am afraid we can only attend one since they are at the same time.....
But we are so excited that we get to see our friends! We have missed them dearly!

Well its that time again..... a new class. accoutning. need i say more? I was working on my homework last night and it became apparent that I needed my sisters 4 year degree right then...... so we shall see how this whole things goes!

~irritations & emptiness

These past few weeks have been extremely tough. A lot of things have been happening. Not only am I working, going to school, being a wife, and being a mother, but now im struggling with this whole hormonal, emotional, moody state. Finally after being emotional spent, I went to the doctor and talked to her about about my anxiety, depression, panic, and irritations. And while yes, most of my irritations are not anything I can do, they are still with me. So I am now back on my meds for a little bit to see if I can straighten this whole mood thing out.
Speaking of irritations; I was listening to Joel Osteen the other morning and he said those "irritations" we have are nothing we can change. We have to change ourselves in order to get the peace and patience we need. Those irritations in our life may not ever change but we can change and they can see the good change. Oh and one night Johnny and I were listening to him and he said that if we woke up with a postive attitude to start the day and keep the postivity going, then it would bring out the best in us. If we keep bringing up the negative, with relationships, money, family, and whatever else, then the negative will happen. So now every morning when I wake up, I take my medicine, and try to be positive. So far, this experiment has only been for 2 days. Its going ok. I think it will take me time not to dwell on things.

Other than that, Lyla is 10 months old today!!!! yes 10 months. I need to start planning the birthday party!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On another note, my dad has been heavily on my mind. Everything that has been going on, I just want to call him. But i know he wont be there. I would do anything to be able to hear his voice just one more time. There are days when I feel so broken because my dad is missing in my heart, soul and life. He is missing out on so much, and yes i know, he is heaven looking down on me and my family but sometimes, that just doesnt seem like enough for me. I just want to be able call him, or go see him and just say hey, i love you. and tell him guess what lyla did today. or just tell him to help me plan her birthday party. I just wish i could look into his eyes and just see him looking back. I dont know. maybe i am just rambling. but even though i think i know why god had me go thru this loss, sometimes i still question it. and yes i know its natural to feel like that BUT still, he is not physically here and that absolutley kills me inside.
depressing.
i know. sorry for the readers who are now crying.
but its just how i feel.
theres not a day that goes by that i dont think about him and how he looked, smelled, hugged, laughed, talked and just his presence.
but i have to remember that those are the things i need to remember.
i have to remember the good times.

(sigh) (deep breath)


HOWEVER, even though there is an emptiness in my heart, and there will always be, i have my family. I have Johnny who is my best friend. (and when i think about the one day i might loose him, like my friend lost her husband, i cant imagine what i would do. it brings tears to my eyes to even think about it) - and then there is Lyla. That little girl is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Some days if i wasnt for her and her smile i dont know how i would go on. I love my family to pieces. I pray to god everyday that he keeps them safe and that they will be with me until forever.

No title......

The hurricane has come and gone. Now what we have is some damage. The rain and wind came through the front windows in the living room and in our bedroom. So the carpet in those rooms were soaked, and so were the walls underneath the windows. Along with that, the siding and insallation came off on the end of the house were our bedroom is. So we are not sure if the rain came through the wall. We cant feel any moisture from the outside, so we had some people come out and test the walls and carpets for moisutre and of course, it was present. Now, those same people are going to hook up some machines and try to get the moisture out. If they cant get it out, we will be replacing some carpet and that wall. We also had some shingles and stuff blow off the barn, oh and our apple tree is down :(
I called the insurance company and filed the claim and now the adjuster is coming out on sunday. We shall see what he says. Hopefully we can get things fixed pretty quick. I am ready to get my house back in order, especially the outside.

Other than hurricane Irene, lyla is doing great! She is growing up way too fast! She will be 10 months old this month. Yes, 10 months old. It seems like just yesterday I found out i was pregnant. She is now crawling like there is no tomorrow, and she is also trying to stand up on her own. She will stand up from time to time but when she realizes what she's doing, she sits down! So I am thinking real soon she will be wanting to walk. Which reminds me, I need to get her some of those "pre-walker" shoes. She is also saying some new words, other than her ma-ma's and da-da's, she says bye bye (as she wave ) :) and she also says ut- oh... It is soooo cute!!

Mine and Johnny's 2 year wedding anniversary was August 29! I can not believe it has already been 2 years. I think back to our wedding day all the time. The way I looked, and how he cried when he saw me walk down the isle, and how when we read our vowels to each other, we cried even more. That whole day was so full of love, and that love still remains today. I have never in my whole life known a love like I have for Johnny. I never in my life thought I would find such an amazing person. I could go on and on about how much I love him and how he is my best friend in the whole wide world and how many times he saved my life. He is truley by heart and soul.

Well enough of all the sappy stuff....

We also started class last week. And then we missed class this past week due to the hurricane. So I have a ton of work to do.

Other than all that stuff I just talked about, who even knows if anyone reads this thing... but it helps me... so I will continue.

Things here with me are going ok. I love my family to death! They are what keeps me going. Not long after Lyla came along I thought I might need to go back on my meds, but I got that worked out and thought I didnt need them. But now I dont know again. It seems like some weeks I am fine and then other times, I feel like i might fall back into that dark hole again.... So I am torn about what to do. I will talking to Johnny about this issue, seeing as how I talk to him about EVERYTHING-

time to go.........

its been awhile....

It has been awhile since the last post. So the updates are this:
Lyla is MOBILE! and when I say mobile, i mean she cant sit still for more than .25 seconds! she is everywhere all the time. and on top of that she is about to walk any time now. She has now worked up the courage to let go when she stands, so now she is standing almost on her own! So the fun has begun!!!
She is just growing way too fast. This past weekend made her 9 months old. I cant believe that my baby girl will be turning 1 year old in November.

On other notes, not many exciting things have been happening. This past weekend Johnny and I went to his high school reunion. It was so nice to meet all of his high school friends! They were all so nice and sweet! - Other than that we just had family time!

So now the hurricane is suppose to be here this weekend, and I was going to go visit my sister, but I think Irene wants me to have other plans :( I'm bummed about it, b/c I miss my sissy and my nephew... well maybe next weekend or something we can see her.

Well now its tuesday and I had last week off from class, so tonight its back to the drawing board.

Other than those updates, there is really nothing special going on.
Oh wait, there is something special coming up- mine and johnny's 2 year wedding anniversary! I cant believe its already been 2 years, and we have a baby girl. Sometimes i look back and i think how did we get to this point. Time is flying by, which only makes remember to enjoy all the good and awesome memories that we make. Actaully the death of a dear dear friend made me realize how important my family is to me. I dont know what I would do if I didnt have my family. My life would not feel complete if I didnt have Johnny or Lyla or anyone else in my family.
After my dad passed away a big hole was left in my heart. That hole will always be there. Its not going anywhere. I think back to that time when I got that phone call, and I remember all the pain and suffering I went through in the past 2 years. I often times cursed God for bringing so much emotion and emptiness in my life, BUT now, looking back I actually have to give thanks to God b/c had I not gone through that, I wouldnt be the person I am today. And i might not possibly have my family. So i have to be thankful for the strength i gained. I know a lot of times it is hard to move on from situations, such as death, but its important to remember that you are not moving on, your moving away from the negativity of the situation and focusing on all the postive energy and all the great memories that were made.
yes i think i am rambling, but this is just something i needed to express. i think its important for people to know that you have to treasure the time you have NOW b/c you never know what might happen the next day, or in the next few minutes.

well enough with the rambling.....
soon i will be posting some new pics of lyla bug :)

its been a while~

Well its beens a while since my last post. many things have been happening!
first off:
lyla is crawling!!!!! and she is into EVERYTHING! we have to watch watch her every minute of the day until she goes to sleep! she also wants to stand up all the time. she will pull herself up from the couch, chair, your leg, or whatever else is around that she thinks she might can pull up on! so the fun times have begun!!! other than that she is just growning like a weed! when i came back from california, i think she had gained 5 pounds and grew a couple of inches as well!

speaking of california!
lets see, we (me, alex and my mom) left raleigh on wednesday night at 7:50pm and arrived at LAX around 11ish. the flight actually went good. of course i couldnt sleep bc i was real nervous about a night time flight. and since this was only my second time flying i was super nervous! anywho. on thursday was just chilled out in the room and my friend iriany came over from san diego and we ate lunch and walked aroung anahiem for the afternoon! on friday, we took a hollywood tour. i was not impressed with that tour. we got caught in a little bit of traffic and so the tour only last about 40 mins. we saw the stars on the street and the hand and good prints and the hollywood sign and then that was it. we didnt even get to shop for anything! so i was a little disappointed that we didnt have time to see more! HOWEVER, we did see 2 celebrities; ironman and bumble bee!!! hahah LMAO! oh and then that night we went to the anaheim angels baseball game! it was a great game. we all got t shirts and gifts for johnny since that is favorite team of all time! i wish he could have been there-
anywho on saturday we took a california riveria tour. first we went to newport beach and drove a little boat around the harbor. it was sooooo nice!!! we saw a lot of yatchs, and big houses. we also saw john waynes former residence, however the people who have now bought it, has double to the size to 12,000 sq feet!!! so it was HUGE~ beside johns house, used to be nicolas cages house! it was anything too special but it was rather large as well. a little further down the way we saw 2 sea lions on the back a boat, just chillin out! they were so cute! then we went to laguna beach. we ate at this amazing pizza place! then went shopping and walked around to see the place . it was a cool place! but i would love to have a place at newport beach!
well anywho, then on sunday, we just chilled. we slept late, then packed our stuff and went to the mall to waste time until it was time to go back to the airport.
iriany and milledge joined us at the mall and it was so great to see them and her baby bump :) i surely miss my best friend! :(
but anywho we went back to the hotel and picked up our bags and took a taxi to the airport and waited for our flight to leave LAX at 10:50pm.
needless to say, i am still jet lagged! i was so tired when we got off that flight. i didnt really sleep the whole way home. but monday i got a little bit of sleep but i was too excited to be home to see lyla and johnny so i didnt really sleep like i needed to .
but the trip was so fun! and we had a great time. but i dont want to ever leave my little family like that again! next time, they shall go with me!!!!

well last night was my last night of organizational managment class. i have next week off and then i start cis 300. this weekend we are also attending many things, we are attending our dear friend matts memorial service on saturday, then that night we are taking lyla and going to see the issacs sing. then on sunday we will go to church and then meet up with matts family to put out a cross in his memory. my heart and prayers are still with his family as this loss for them will remain a hard uphill battle. but i pray they find comfort in the time and good memories they had with him.

well i must go.....

trying time~

well needless to say, this past week has been rough. my dear friend's husband died wednesday, which happens to be mine and johnnys friend as well. it is so hard to grasp the concept that he is gone. on monday or tuesday, stephanie (his wife) and i were planning our weekend adventure and also his birthday which is coming up this weekend.... and then all of a sudden those plans didnt exsist anymore. it has been so hard on stephanie, but i am glad i could be with her and comfort her in her time of need before her family arrived. besides the day or should i say week, that my dad died, that week and last week were the two longest weeks of my life. HOWEVER, as i was staying with my friend it finally hit me like a ton of bricks. i finally knew why god put me through so much pain when my dad died. i used to question all the time, lord why did you do this to me? why do i have to be the one who has to suffer and expierence my heart being ripped away? it hit me on wednesday night, god put me through that trying time so that i could help my friend. for 2 years i wondered why i needed to expeirence that tragedy, and now i know.
stephanie, i dont know if your reading this, but i hope in some ways i helped you last week. my heart goes out to you. i in know way can compare my situation to yours, but i know how it feels to loose something sooo close to you. i only hope that you can find comfort and peace in the good memories you had with matt.

so many times, we all take things and people for granted. and its times like these that you wish you hadnt have done that. this past week has really opened my eyes to be thankful for right now bc we obviously dont know what the day holds.
all my love and prayers are going out...

to top all that off, my granddad was put back in the hospital one wednesday or thursday with accute renal faliure. he is better now and back home. i really need to get over there to see him and the rest of the family but timing is everything. i also was supposed to go over to my dads grave this weekend to put out summer flowers and to clean his stone up but things came up, well i say things came up but honestly i didnt want to go. i had already had such an emotional week that i didnt want to face it. BUT i am hope within the next week or so i can go over there.

well with all that being said, the lord surely works in myterious ways.... whether it be a sudden revelation, a sign in the sky, or just anything, He is always tyring to tell you something. He is always there, even when you feel the most alone.... just keep that in mind

weekend trials and mondays~

well friday night was a success. johnny and i went to go see joel osteen and we spent the night in raleigh. joel was amazing. he is truely an awesome person and extremely encouraging . not only did we hear from him but his mom was there, for those of who do not know anything about the osteens, his mom had liver cancer and was only given weeks to live, but here she is 30 years later. she talked about how she never gave up and how she knew god had more and bigger plans for her! she is a strong woman for sure. we also heard the testimony of _____ ratcliff, i cant remember her first name.. anyway she talked about how her and husband tried and tried for years to have a baby, and finally after about giving up she was preggers. then time pasted and the baby she had wanted to know when he was going to have a baby sister and brother. and so the trials began again. after about 5 years the little boy says "mommy maybe for christmas santa will bring a little sister and a big brother" and so as a family they prayed. months later she received a phone call from an old friend and was asked did she want to adopt twins. long story short, they adopted the twins, a boy and a girl and after calcualting dates, they girl who had the twins had concieved the babies on christmas :) she then sang a beautiful song and as she sang, pictures and videos of her kids played. it was obviously at this point, that i and every other woman in the building were crying. anyway, it was just a wonderful time.

so after calling to check on lyla for the 1,000 time, i finally went to sleep. i of course called when i got back up the next morning. she did awesome while we were away and i am sooo proud of her, well and proud of myself for not crying when i left her. however, there will probably not be anymore over night dates again until i leave for california in august.

well so after an eventful weekend, monday came..... we all know how i LOVE mondays--- and yesterday was one of those mondays that i wanted to kick in the mouth! as soon i as woke up my dad was heavy on my mind. but i talked to my sissy and she gave me a bbm hug (love u heather) -- and things were better. then i get to work....well we wont even talk about that..... and then i get home and needless to say, no one had a good monday. so yeah

well now im excited. my sister is coming back this weekend!!!!! wooohooo! bc i miss her and my landyn. saturday, i think in the morning we are going to dads grave to get it cleaned up and get his summer flowers put out. then its off to my moms were im sure we will do something exciting. and then its movie in the park night!!! which im realyl excited about. im probably more excited than the kids... but i guess thats the kid in me :)

here are a few new pics if u havent already seen them on fb

this is lyla and her new hair bow!! it finally will go in her hair!

oh just my little family :) how cute are we, right?

and my little sleepy lyla bug- she LOVES to sleep on her mama and her daddy

this is where she sleeps best and where i sometimes sleep the most peaceful

bc i know she is there with me and nothing will happen :)

update time~

well here it is wedneday july 13! i cant believe its already july and half way thru july at that!
lets see what been going on.... this past weekend we went a river party that my boss had at his river house and then we went to a wedding that same day. it was really pretty and fun! and then on sunday we took my mom to crabby pattys in havelock to eat for her birthday which was yesterday but she should now be in paris! so we wont be seeing her or alex until next week sometime.
also lyla will be 8months old this week!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant believe it. im just in shock that 8 months ago i was laying in that room anxiously awaiting her arrival.... and now any day she will be crawling and im pretty sure she will be walking real soon after that bc now she loves to walk if i hold her hands. i surely do love her to death. i tell her everyday how pretty she is and how much she is loved by me and her daddy :)
so i guess its almost time to start planning her 1 year birthday!!!! fun times ahead!
well on another note, firday johnny and i will be goign to raleigh to see joel osteen and we will be staying the night. so this will be first night without lyla being with us. we are nervous and anxious and paniced about the situation but we both now we need the time away. so we shall see how hard i cry when we leave the drive way....
and so that leads me to this. i will now be going california aug 3-7 without lyla and johnny! i am soooo nervous i dont know what to do. i am going to with my mom and brother and while im sure we will have tons of fun, i dont love the fact i will be leaving my baby for almost a week. needless to say, skpe will become my best friend! however, i am exciting that i might get the chance to see my bestest friend iriany while i am there. i have been so sad since she left this past week, i just miss her! and since she's preggers, i am trying to arrangments to go see her the whole week of her due date so that i might can be there for the delivery... we shall see...... oh what fun times ahead.....
so now with all that said, i must go

July updates

Well Lyla really LOVED the fireworks !!! she stood up on my legs and just jabbered away and took both her arms and reached in the sky like she wanted to grab them! i took a video but it didnt turn out so great....
earlier that day we went to new bern to the little festival they had. it was neat, but not too much was going on. we did go walking in and out of the little shops and i got a pair of crocks and johnny got a mt dew shirt. the one i thing i saw for lyla was too expensive! so she didnt get anything, except a nice nap :)

well now other than the fireworks adventure nothing to exciting has been going on. i did get lyla a pool and hopefully when i get home i can it blowed up and put some water in it.
this weekend, we have a wedding and a river party to attend. im not sure if we will do both or not... we shall see. then next weekend is the big weekend...... leaving lyla for the first night since she was born....... (anxiety- panic face)  
we will see how that goes.
oh my moms birthday is next week but she will be in paris! so hopefully we can get together on sunday and celebrate her birthday- and im praying the gift i got her is in the mail before then too!!!
lets see and coming up is also mine and johnnys 2 year wedding anniversary!!! it just seems like yesterday that we got married. I am so glad i married my best friend in the whole wide world. i couldnt have asked for a better husband and father! he is the best!!!!!

lets talk about separation anxiety~

so now for the past two mornings when i hand over lyla to the MIL, she cries (with real tears) and looks at me and holds her hand out. I CANT TAKE IT! my heart just breaks into a million pieces. i already hate leaving her everyday and missing the little things she does, so when she cries like that, its like she confirms my feelings of wanting to stay..... BUT i know seperating anxiety happens, so i have to the adult and suck it up, cry in the car on the way to work and just go about my day. but i HATE it!

on another notes, lyla has also not had a  bm in going on 4 days now. so we are off the pedi at 10 30 to get her checked out just to make sure nothing too serious is going on. so everyone please say a little prayer for her.

so now..... after all that lyla drama what should i say? theres not really much to talk about i guess. nothing to exciting going on. this weekend will be a long weekend as both johnny and i have monday off. so that will be nice! oh and then the following weekend we have a wedding and a river party to attend and THEN on july 15, johnny and i will going to joel osteen in raleigh! we cant wait! HOWEVER, it will be lylas first night away from me and i honestly dont know how to react over that....... i have never been apart from her at night. so we will see if i can make it out of the drive way for that......

well until next time,
later taterz

BIG LONG UPDATE

So I havent updated this blog is ages... actually its been like a week and a half... but lets see... where to start:
my last post was june 15th so since then....
oh that was fathers day weekend. we had a great weekend. we didnt do much and then on sunday we went to church and took johnny out for his first fathers day. then we went home and relaxed and just enjoyed the time together as a family.
then of course it was time for the work week. then this past weekend. i took a half day off work this past friday to keep lyla. we met my sister and nephew at the car dealership and then went to my moms and spent the whole day shopping and galavanting around. it was so good to see my sister and nephew. then on saturday we woke up and went back to my moms and shopped and took landyn to see cars 2 and then later me and lyla went to the in laws to have a birthday dinner for my MIL. so we had some fun times. lyla and i surely do miss heather and landyn. it was so good to see them! cant wait until next time.
as for lyla she is doing great!~ she is eating her baby food and drinking her milk like a champ! she got a high chair this weekend and she loves it! (thanks grandma kathy and poppop rick :) )
other than that she is LOVES to stand up. she is sitting up great but she would rather stand. she will now stand by herself if she has something to hold onto. and if i hold her hands she will try to walk. so i think we might skip the crawling stage! that could be a good or a bad thing.
other than being a perfect angel - she is just growing like a weed!
well tomorrow is my last night of this class. well for this managment class. then i get a very small break and its back to class again.
well i think this is long enough. below i have attached some pics from over the last week!

lylas fathers day dress :)

lyla and her grandma kathy :)

happy fathers day!!!

~fathers day~

well lets see its been a while since i've been up here.
well lyla is eating baby food twice a day now. she loves it. so far. she is also saying da da, la la, ba ba, and pa pa, and wa wa but still no MA MA. i am trying real hard to help her learn it. she is also sitting up so good by herself. still no crawling, but i think she might br trying to skip that stage. she will also now stand by herself if she has some props. she will be 7 months old tomorrow. omg time is flying by too fast. it is about time to start planning her 1 year birthday !

other than that, fathers day is this weekend. who excited? me, yes and no. i love the fact that this is johnnys first fathers day. and it will be amazing with lyla but i cant help but to think about my dad. this will make the 2nd fathers day without him. i thought the first year was hard but this one, i dont know. it seems harder. i guess its bc hes no here to witness the happenings of lylas life. and yes while i know he sees everything from heaven as he sits on a cloud, its not the same bc i cant call him everyday and say guess what lyla did today. so i guess it just seems harder bc lyla is here now. either way, it always going to be hard.
and then of course i feel guilty bc this is johnnys first fathers day and i feel like if i say something about my dad i will taking attention away from him. he of course says that it is only right that i think about my dad. and yes i do understand what he says, its still difficult.
so its kind of like what do you do.

anyway.

lylas milestones~

so friday lyla reached a milestone!!
she can now roll from back to belly to belly to back. of course i did not see this happen bc i was at work :( and then once i got home she did it but i missed it :( so that was a bummer. but im sure she will do it again.
she also started some baby food. i gave her peas at dinner time and she LOVED them!
i am so proud of her. she will be 7 months old on june 16. and its so hard to believe. it seems just like yesterday she was my little newborn...... oh how time flys.

well today i got together some of lylas clothes to take to the nearly new fish sale in october. so far i have listed 32 items at $89. and i have about 506464067097 more items to put in, ok maybe not that many but you never know!

nothing too exciting going on in the williams world right now. oh johnny and i are  looking forward to going to see joel osteen july 15th!! it will be exciting. and it will mark the first time lyla will spend the night somewhere else besides with me :( this will be challenge but it will be well deserved get away from me and the hubster!

well time to go home!
oh this pic is of lyla and bentley when we went to the beach :) they are so sweet

and this is lyla and johnny before we were on our way to sc for irianys wedding. my two loves :)

lyla 6 month checkup and shots

well the update on lyla
her weight is 7lbs and 11.2 ounces (74.18%)
she is 27 inches long (82.95%)
and her head circumfrence is 44.5cm (90.93%)- which the doc told me is not really consistant with her height but she thinks lyla got under measured during the last visit so she said not to worry.
she had 3 shots, one in each leg and one in the arm and one orally.
she did really well until they stuck her arm then she cried and screamed for like 10 mins. she made me cry ;(
but other than that the doc said she was perfect.

on my way out of the doctors office, dr nancy stopped me and with tears in her eyes told me how great of a mom i was and how she loved to watch me with lyla bc i just had great maternal instincts. she said she rarely sees mothers like me. usually they are in and out and dont ask alot of questions or really listen to what she has to say. that surely made my day! i needed to hear that!
needless to say, we will be sticking with dr nancy FOREVER!

on another note
johnny and i have are addicted to the extreme couponing show, so we have decided to join the craze! and so it begins!
i will update on that as it happens

i started my next class last night. thank god the instructor is not borning.
well time to go.

its been awhile

well its been awhile since ive posted anything so i guess i should give an update about whats going on in the williams' life....
well last weekend we attended a wedding. then monday i had a dermatology appointment. everything checked out. however now my mom wants to go back bc she wasnt satisfied about one particular spot i showed to the doctor. so looks like i will be making another appointment to have a spot removed on my breast. mom just wants to safe. the doctor said it was fine and to keep watching it. but you know how moms are, they worry- and im ok with that!
so then tuesday was the last night of my health care managment class. i turned in my research paper and we got out of class early! thank god!
and it was johnny birthday!!!! we obviously didnt do anything special since we were in class all night. but i did buy him a couple of gifts and surprised him when he got home - and on monday evening we are cooking out ribs with the family for his birthday. so its a little late but at least its something.
so now yesterday i just worked all day and went home and worked some more.

as for little miss lyla- well last weekend she was having an issue of going to the bathroom. so i gave her some karosyrup in her bottle and that helped. but now she is trying to constipated again. so we will begin the karosyrup regamin again in every other bottle. that is if i can keep everyone on a schedule of what she is supposed to eat and when and when and when not she is supposed to get the karo in her bottle. we will see how this goes. she is now finished with the rice. we have officially moved on to oatmeal! so she gets 2 teaspoons of oatmeal before her 6 ounce bottle of milk. and then on wednesday she goes for her 6 month checkup and shot at the peds office. im sure that will be a joyous morning! we will see how it goes.

so now this weekend, and by weekend i litterally mean friday-monday, we will be attending my dear friends, iriant and miledge, wedding in south carolina. we are leaving tomorrow morning and wont be back until sunday. then both johnny and i have monday off, so we will be recooperating from our trip. i just pray lyla does great and doesnt cause a mess at the wedding. she is usually always good but who knows how she will be with the traveling. sunday we plan on taking out time getting back into town, we if we see something we want to like we just might stop. sounds like fun ! i cant wait to have this little get away with my family :)

so i guess thats the update. the car is in the shop today, gettting new tires, and alignment and inspection.
got 2 new pics of lyla for ur viewing pleasure as well :)
well after a while i will post the new pics

happy bday daddy~ and lyla update ( a little long :s )

well today is may 18, 2011. my daddys birthday. he would have been 46 today. thats just so young to not be alive. its sad, it really is.  and i honestly cant believe its been 2 years since he has been gone. i have learned that since he died, life is short and you never know what might happen. yeah i know people say that all the time, but until something like this happens to you, you never really understand the meaning.
well enough about that bc i def. dont want to be crying my eyes out today bc i have to work.....

so monday i start lyla on some oatmeal. she know is drinking 5.5 ounces of formula with a teaspoon of ricein her bottle. before every bottle she gets 1-1.5 teaspoons of tice mixed with milk in a bowl. and now at lunch and dinner time she gets the oatmeal instead of the rice. she LOVES it! and she is doing so good with whole spoon situation. i am so proud of her. if this week goes well with the oatmeal, meaning if she doesnt have an allergic reaction or tummy issues, i will take away the rice in the bowl and only put it in her bottle. then before every feeding we will do oatmeal instead of rice. then on june 1st when she has her 6 month checkup, if the doctor gives me the ok, we will start her on baby foods. HOWEVER
i am torn about this whole baby food ordeal. i would LOVE to make her baby food but 1. do i have time? 2. so i have the energy? and 3. so i want to spend the money on a machine to puree the stuff? and then that leads me to the question of organic baby food. which i would like for to have organic or homemade bc there is not all those perservatives and mess in it. but organic is a little on the expensive side. but babies are expensive so who cares right?
so anywho. i will be talking to johnny about this one. bc i could make the baby food and the MIL could help out since she is home with lyla anyway everyday. but then the question comes about of when we travel. homemade bf has to be refrigerated. so who knows... looks like i have some research to do......

oh and lyla was 6 MONTHS old yesterday!!!!! happy 1/2 yr lyla!! :) u cant believe she is 6 months already! she is growing up way to fast- 
and saturday and sunday she had her first beach trip- she loved it! and i think she would have loved the water but it was wayyyy to cold. so maybe next time. she loved it but i got burnt bc i was too busy worrying about her to put on sunblock. so now im dealing with that but it feels much much better today. now i have to get it to blend in by the time the wedding gets here next week.

well i must go......
here is a new picture of lyla :)

~come on weekend~

So this weekend we are going to the beach! woohoo! i cant wait! it will be lylas first time and a much need change of scenery for me and the hubby. its going to be nice to just leave home for even a day!
Lyla is going to look so cute in her blue, lady bug print bathing suite :)

on another note, it has been a week of crazyiness! monday night the neighbors car caught on fire so we had to deal with that and lyla wasnt to be miss clingy pants. she just wanted her mommy. which is understandable and i certainly dont mind, but when she is clingy i cant get anything else done! but in time that will change im sure.
she has now been eating rice in her a bottle for a little while and we are also giving her some by spoon at lunch time everyday. however, this weekend i think i am going to give her some in a bowl at lunch time and maybe try some oatmeal at dinner time... .we will see how that goes.
then after a few weeks of oatmeal i think we will try fruits and veggies. and then begins the baby food trial. it should be interesting bc i would really love to make my baby food and if i dont have time/ energy to do that then i would like to by organic baby food but i might have to get a second job just to pay for that!
so we will see how everything goes.
well next weekend johnny is doing a wedding on satuday and then the week after that he is doing another one and on that weekend i am in a wedding in SC, so that means friday the 20th we will have to leave in the morning to make it to the rehearsal dinner and everything. should be exciting! and then may 24th its johnnys b-day- WOOHOO! which i know what i would like to get him its just the matter of do i have the extra money. so we will have to see how everything goes.
well back to work

oh and is a pic from mothers day :) lyla and johnny are the best mothers day presents for me :) i love being a mom and a wife !!

~mothers day weekend~

well i had a pretty good mothers day! saturday was my day to celebrate, so johnny and i, well more johnny than me, cut down 2 trees in the front yard and then we attemped to put together my new swing for the front porch, but it was broke :( so now i have to take it back and try some other lowes bc that was the last wood swing they had in this particular lowes. so im a little sad about that but it will be ok. lyla loved being outside!
and then on sunday we went to my moms and lyla sat up so good by herself!!! she still falls over from time to time but she is working on it !
lyla is also working on eating from a spoon. she doenst understand just yet but we are working on it. she is just so cute! and she is growing so fast! and getting so long!
well we have a lots of things to do this month! this weekend we are going to the beach and next weekend we have a wedding and then we have another wedding the weekend after that! so we are busy busy busy! and not to mention johnnys bday is coming up on may 24th

well thats all the updates i have for now- here is a photo of lyla sitting up this weekend!

and she looked so cute in her little polo dress :) and she had some silver sandals with pink flowers on them, they were just darlin' :)

really dont have a title in mind- so just updates i guess~

well its wednesday. needless to say im ready for it to be friday. as you know lyla is now sleeping in her crib. i must say it is still taking me time to know shes not in the room with me, but with the video monitor it made it alot easier. i just dont like the fact that if she cries i have to walk across the house- but she rarely wakes up in the middle of the night. i think the crib was a good move, now i have to figure out what to do with this craddle i have in my room, oh and not to mention her swing which she is too heavy for and she doesnt really care for it anymore but it sure was a nice toy at times! so now i have the craddle and swing that needs to go somewhere. any takers?
you know, i love being a mom but i have to say mornings like this morning make me want to stay home. i love it when lyla wakes up in the mornings and i hear her in the monitor cooing and awwing and singing and what not, and when i go in there her little face just lights up with the biggest smile :) awww... i love it! and then she is just so happy and she stares at me and johnny like she has so much love but she doesnt know how to express it just yet. some part of me wants to be a stay at home mom BUT 1. the money isnt right at this moment ,and 2. i think i would go completley crazy if i had to stay home ALL THE TIME- but lyla sure does make it hard-
and so now with her bottles we are at 5.5 ounces with a 1 teaspoon of rice. i think this weekend, i might try to introduce a little bit of oatmeal in a bowl for her. i also might introduce a sippy cup just to see what she does. everytime i hold up glass when she is sitting with me she grabs it and wants to drink out of it.... so we will see how i feel later this week about introducing a cup- yes i know 5 months and 3 weeks it a little early to introduce a sippy cup, but i just read an article from some moms who starting their kids at 6 months with sippys.... so we shall see how this trial goes, that is if it happens.
ok one last thing before i go bc this way entirely too long!
mothers day is this weekend, and i get to celebrate bc i am now a mommy :) so saturday is my mommy day! whatever i want to do, we as a family are doing it! i am super excited ! my first mothers day :)
but then there is the question of what to get my mom and my MIL- ???? thats always a tough one.
ok later peeps

oh and i just thought id share this :

~1st night of lyla in her crib~

well last night we put lyla in her crib at bedtime. needless to say it was a long night for me.
after johnny got done feeding her, he put her down in her crib and after about 2 hours she started crying. i quickly went to her and put her paci back in her mouth and she went back to sleep. a little bit more time goes and she starts up again but she went right back to sleep. by this time i was listening for her in my sleep the whole time and about every 45 mins i would turn on your video monitor just to make sure she was still breathing. so she finally slept wil about 6am and started crying again. so i brought her into the bedroom and she slept in my spot while i got a shower. and the sneaky little things started smiling when i layed her in our bed- she obviously new what she really wanted!
so i will have to say that the whole crib idea worked out just fine. we will see how the rest of the week goes. i am just real scared about it bc so many things could happen.
oh and how about right before i went to sleep a commercial came on that was talking about taking everything out the crib once putting the baby in there bc of the risk of SIDDS. and i was like wow- now i need her to stay in here for sure. however, i know she will be fine especially since i went and spent a pretty penny on a new video monitor (which was actually johnnys idea- that im glad he insisted)

ok so yeah. thats our first night crib story.

now we are continuing putting rice in her bottle for 2 of her feedings daily. next week i think i might put it in every bottle. and then when we run out of rice i think i will go to oatmeal. i have not decided yet what action i would like to take but i am just trying to make sure her little belly gets used to everything. its real important not to overload her with to much BUT consistancy is REAL important

oki doki. now time for some work

easter sunday update

so this weekend was pretty eventful.
saturday me and lacey met my mom in greenville and went shopping. i got some new stuff but didnt have time to find lyla anything :( then me and johnny and lacey and alex went to see water for elephants and it was pretty good! then on sunday we got up and went to church, stopped by my moms and took some pictures (which a few will be posted below) and then got in the car and went to albertson where my family is. i put together dads flower arrangement (shown below) to put on his grave. i think it turned out great.



so then after visting the grave, which by the way i can never stay at long bc it just brings up too many emotions, we went to my grandparents house. almost everyone was there and lyla did a great job! she was sooo tired though, and it was hot so that didnt help. after we left there we went to johnnys parents house and had easter/ FIL bday party.

lyla ate her 8:30 bottle, we went home i bathed her and she went to sleep at about 9:40ish and she didnt wake up until this morning at 7:30! she was a very tired baby!!!
so posted below are a few easter pics for you to enjoy.

tuesday update session~

well its tuesday.
this past weekend was rough. but i made it! of course i still didnt accomplish what i needed to accomplish bc a. i was sort of kinding avoiding it and b. bc of the weather. (that is putting flowers on my dads grave). so i guess that means i have to do it this weekend which is easter, which means the whole family will be there...... so we will see  how that goes.

anywho. it has now been three or four nights since we have given lyla cereal. she now loves it! she drinks it go fast you would think she was starving. and while we are giving it to her at night before we go to bed, she is still waking up at 5am ! however, when she wakes up at 5 i get up and put here back to sleep and she sleeps til around 7- 7:30ish. i do believe she is going thru the "4month wakeful" and yes she is 5 months BUT i think she is now in that stage. so i will just do what i do and it will be fine. other than that she is just growing oh so fast~ her easter pics came in and mom and i went and picked them up friday and i cant stop looking at them. i even have one on my desk and i find myself looking at it through out the day. i just miss not being able to be with her. but i have to work, and i couldnt be a stay at home mom bc i would probably go crazy! but anywho......
well last thursday i went to the eye doctor and my vision has not changed! so wooohoo! however the doc gave me some new contacts bc she didnt have my size in the brand i wear. i tried to wear those things all weekend and just couldnt do it! i felt like i constantly had something in my eyes! and they gave me a headache from he!!- so yeah needless to say i called yesterday and told her those werent going to work! she gave me a new pair and its like a miracle!
so now im so glad i got that fixed bc i dont love wearing my glasses all the time.

anywho. i just wanted to give an update on everything.

later taters
oh just thought id throw in this wedding picture :) bc i love my hubby so so much

cereal trial~

so last night i decided that lyla needed to try some rice cereal. i mixed a teaspoon of rice in a small bowl and put some of her milk in with it. i went over to feed her and the first little bit she was like "yucky!" faced. so i tried again. she then smacked lips a little bit. the next spoon, not so good. she was MAD! she started crying, i guess because she realized she tasted the milk but she couldnt suck on anything!
so i put just a few crumbles in her bottle (yes i know thats a no no- but it wasnt enough to even notice in the bottle!) i just wanted to let her get the taste on her palate. so i guess in the neat future, possibly tonight, i will try it one more time.
she doesnt really need to cereal right now but she is 5 months and i think it would be a good time to slowly but surely start her on new things. BUT im def. not going to rush things.

lyla is just growing way to fast! and she just keeps getting cuter and cuter! :)
also her easter pics showed up on fb! they are priceless!!! cant wait to go pick them up! of course her are the two pictures:

they are a little hard to see because of all the white, but she is a PRINCESS! gregg ward does such an amazing job.

well tomorrow is the day-dads anniversary-  no longer can i avoid it. just praying my heart and my head stay straight. i will just keep saying a prayer and leaning on my wonderful husband to help me get through the days. i believe my sister and i are meeting up to put some new flowers on the grave. so that might be nice to go to the grave as a family. especially since she has moved to ga.

so anyways... i must work now.

traveling days-

well this weekend was busy and LONG-

friday we left to help my sister move to georgia. so we left greenville at 7 stopped and got something to eat and then we were on the way to Ga. when only 45 minutes later we had to stop AGAIN bc someone has to pee.  almost every hour after that we had to stop bc someone had to pee or lyla needed to eat or someone need to stretch their legs. keep in mind, we had 3 cars and a moving truck going down the interstate, so we couldnt go real fast either. well finally at 7 pm on friday evening we made it to our destination. the moving guys got everything inside and then saturday we unpacked and unpacked and unpacked some more. sunday we came back home.

all this time i was so nervous about lyla and going all this distance and her sitting in her carseat too much and all this other stuff when the whole time she did better than anyone else!!! i was so proud of her! however, by sunday she was def. ready to get home! and so was i. we arrived home around 6pm. needless to say, we didnt have a hard time going to sleep!

now it monday. yes MONDAY- i hate mondays. i really wanted to stay in the bed and sleep until about lunch time but i have things to do and money to make!and plus after spending a long weekend with lyla i didnt want to leave her this morning. it was so nice to stay with her and be able to be with her all the time.

so anyways, this might be a hard week, as you know sunday is my dads 2 year anniversary of his death. so of course thats all i can think about. thursday night my sister and i went and got some new flowers for his grave and sunday im going over there to put them out. so im praying the day will be easy for me. i guess we shall see...

well i must go. time to work work work.....

oh i have included in this post, some pics from this weekend and of course a pic of my daddy....

-rainy days-

well its tuesday. and its raining out. dark. looks like it would be an amazing day for sleeping! but cant do that bc i need to work. but who cares about the weather!
lyla had her easter pics taken friday and they turned out so so good! before we left the house she fell asleep so i was like this is good bc if she has a nap she will be happy when she wakes up. we were about 20 mins early so i was like even better bc lyla can sleep a little more but no- the two appointments before us were already done! so i had to wake her up. she did ok considering she didnt finish her nap. but she did very well! i cant wait to get them back!
well this weekend i am helping my sister move to georgia. it is sad to see her and landyn go but i understand that this is a great move for her family bc of her new job. i guess this will be an excuse to leave nc for a couple of days during the year! i am nervous about the trip only bc of lyla. its like a 7 hour drive but i know we will be stopping probably alot bc we are going to have 3 cars and a uhaul truck. so i think we might just fine. i will jsut need to take plenty of toys and food and make sure she gets out to stretch!

well next weekend will have been 2 years since daddy has passed. for now, this is of course is all i can think about. all i can think about is that day when i got that phone call. how i felt, what i was doing, and who was there. and then i think about the weeks after that and how many nights i layed awake just wishing it was all i dream. i still do that from time to time now. there are some days when i feel like i am going to wake up at any moment, but the days go by and i see that its not a dream. so now im just dealing. i just miss him so so much. and i could go on and on about him and how much i miss him and what all i wish he had seen, but i know he already knows all that. so why do i keep saying it. i guess just to reassure myself? who knows.

well enough of that already. if i keep on i will get myself into a great depression and i certainly dont need that happening!

well looks like some exciting and some hard times coming up but i know, as my husband would say, "everything will be alright"

(heres a pic i made for my message board sig:)

post part. stuff

well it seems as if i may have to start my meds again. before lyla was born i was on antidepressants but i came off them bc i didnt want to be taking that stuff while she was baking. i have now been dealing with all the feelings and hormones that come with having a baby. so now i am wondering, should i wait this out bc it might just be my hormones or could it be that my fathers death anniversary is coming up in about 2 weeks and im just thinking about that time. or is it that i am a full time worker and going to school and dealing with leaving lyla everyday and so on and so on. i can feel my anxiety levels rising from time to time but then agian there are other times when i feel just fine. so its like what to do what to do....

so i think i have come to the conclusion when i go to the ob for my yearly check up in a couple of weeks, i am going to tell her my concerns and see what she thinks. i really didnt want to have to start taking my meds again, only bc i just didnt want to be having to take those pills all the time. but i think i need to talk to her about it.

ok on another note, Lyla is doing amazing. she went and had her shots monday and did amazing. she is jsut so cute. and keeps getting cuter every day. i love looking at her :) it just melts my heart (and then i think to myself how is it that i can feel so loved and delightful when im with lyla and my husband but when its just me time, i am like bllllaaaahhh- but yeah thats irrelevant in ths paragraph-) so anywho friday lyla is going to have her pics taken with the live bunnies!! im SUPER excited!

meanwhile, back at work. my co worker is on maternity leave and i have taken over her job, and needless to say, since shes been gone i have been slammed! but finally today for the first time in a week, things have slowed down! so yay for me for catching a break!

well back to the drawing board.

mondays and doctors-

its monday. we all know how i just LOVE mondays-
well this monday its rainy and cold and i had to take lyla to the pedi for her 4 month checkup and shots-
she was 15.2 pounds (in the 77%) and 2' 0.5'' long (in the 60%). and her head circumference was 41.4 (in the 52%)
so she is perfect :) - thats literally came out of the doctors mouth :) which i already knew this- so she just confirmed it! lyla did amazing with her shots! at first she got real mad and has bright red face but like 10 seconds after it was over she was smiling again! i was so so proud of her! last time she cried so hard i cried!!! 

so anyways, we had a pretty good weekend. went to landyns birthday party. i cant believe he will be 5 already this week! he growing so so fast. i got him a ll bean bookbag with his name on it so when he starts school this year he will be a cool kid :) ha!

well and then sunday we went to church in kinston and had lunch with some friends and their 2 boys were so sweet with lyla! and she of course loved the attention!

well this was short but there is not much going on and i have a ton of work to finish up
later taters.

mondays-

of course we all know how i love mondays (cant you here the sarcasim?)- well this weekend was an alright weekend. nothing too boring. friday was just another day, however i took lyla to the daffodil field but of course i left my camera at home today so i couldnt post any pictures, but you can best believe i will be doing that tomorrow~!
Saturday, Lyla and I just sat at the house and i cleaned a little bit and caught up on some dvr stuff. then johnny and i went on a date :) it was so nice to get out for a little while. we saw the movie limitless (it was pretty good) and then went out to dinner.
sunday was about like any other sunday. we went to church at lunch, watched the carolina game and then took some furniture to a lady that i sold. other than that, nothing to excting about this weekend.

so now in the upcoming weeks, i guess i will be some what more busy than i am now. landyns (my nephew) birthday party is this weekend and then monday lyla goes to have her 4 month shots. which i am not excited about and im sure if she could voice her opinion, she wouldnt be happy either. bless her little heart. and then friday she is going to have her picture taken with the live bunnies at gregg wards. i am super excited about this day. she has a new dress and everything to wear! so yeah. on top of all that i start a new class wednesday. early amercian history.which i am def not excited about!

well i guess there is not much more to say. other than my sister i think is def taking a job in georgia. which i think is great BUT i will surely miss her and my lb :( but im so happy she has gotten this great oppurtunity. i just hope it all works out great.

well time to go.

~shopping and new beginings~

at lunch a co worker and i went to a big consigment event that only comes to town twice a year! lyla got some clothes a pair of shoes and bouncy vibrating chair and a floor mat with toys! im excited about all this! and then my hubby and the MIL went and bought more goodies! so we shall see what they got later

on a real good note, after many many many months of johnny not having a job he got one today!!!!!!!!! and he got the job as soon as he dropped off his resume and his app!!! so congrats to my love!

also last weekend lyla got some new dresses and here is one, this will be here easter attire :) and she will have her pic taken with live bunnies in a couple of months! so excited!

anxiety- among many other things

well hello world
anxiety is the topic for today.
i hate it but it comes with life
i am not going to go into detail about the anxiety but if you could send some positive reinforcment my way that would be great. i have been known to have anxiety attacks and since i am now out of zanex, i am having to find alternative methods- which ps are good but not as good as the real good stuff ! -- anyway...

on another notes:
i think lyla is teething. she is slobbering like crazy and putting everything in her mouth. there are times when she is fussy and when i rub her gums she stops. so i bought some teething rings. one i put in the freezer and gave to her but she didnt love the coldness. so we will see how this war goes! also last night she was little miss fussy pants. i dont know what her deal was but i surely didnt sleep much and neither did her father.

next note:

my co worker brought me her baby hawk mei tai- i am excited to use this and see if i like it. for those of you who dont know what im talking about her is a picture:  (above)
so now im excited.

well tomorrow is also my last night in this world lit class, thank god. however.... next week i start a world history class.... eeeeewwww i hate history but i have to have it! so lets see how this goes...

well i must go for now.
later world

thursday- and a challenging time

i have to say that other than fridays, my favorite day of the week is thursday. i guess only bc the begining of the week is over, my class is finished, and of course my favorite shows come on !! and my best friend comes over most the time :)
so anywho- these past too weeks have been challenging for me. last week while i was at school i smelled my father. as many of you know he passes away almost 2 years ago (april 16, 2009) i have to say it is the hardest thing i have had to deal with in my life. and i wouldnt wish it upon anyone. so anywho, i smelled him in the hallway of the school and after a few moments, the scent was gone. i wanted to smile and cry at the same time. it was sssoooo bittersweet. so i have to keep in mind that he only did that to let me know he hadnt gone anywhere and that he was still with me. so i now know that the glass angel in my car truley is my dad, my guardian. however with all that being said- life is challenging now he is gone. dont get me wrong, i have johnny and i have lyla and i have the rest of my family BUT its not the same when your dad cant be around to enjoy this life with you.
so to all my friend who even read this, please just keep me in your prayers. as the time comes closer to his anniversary it becomes more challenging for me to keep my head up. as most of you know depression has been an issue for me in the past and when lyla came along i stopped my meds. i stopped my meds bc i know that johnny is my support and my rock and i dont need those meds if i have him. it truely is amazing to have your best friend as your husband. BUT even without the meds i struggle on a daily basis. BUT i am trying to make lite of the situation. all i am doing to say is, this is hard and i love my dad with everything fiber of my being. enough said.

ok so on more notes: lyla is about over her sickness! thank god. she was 4 months old yesterday! its hard to believe its been 4 months since she was born! time is really flying by. to all other mothers out there- i now see what you say about growing up too fast.

well i better get to work. my co worker will be having her baby any time now and i need to get this work down pat!!!

later taters

banking days-

so today is monday. everyone knows i am not a huge fan of mondays....
i wake up this morning thinking ok, lets try to have a good monday for a change. well that didnt happen. i woke up in a bad mood, again for about the fourth time in this past week.
i get to work and start checking my email and the bank account so that i can balance the check book. to my surprise there are charges from maryland on our account. i immediatley call johnny and ask him what these charges are, and he doesnt know. so i begin to call the bank, and what do you know i get voicemails! so i keep calling different branches until someone answers the phone!  so i then go to the bank with johnny in tow, and we see that someone within 45 minuntes has charged right at $160 to our account on saturday from maryland. they went to the 7-11, the news stand, and the liquor store.... im sure they would have purchased more but they ran out of money, THANK GOD- this is the one time i am glad there was a small amount of money in our account. so i finally got that fixed! oh and on another note how about the people who were doing this didnt have checks, they actually had made a duplicate of my card! i hope that god puts a great conviction on whoever did this!

ok so on another note, baby lyla is doing better ! finally. we are still giving her antibiotic twice a day along with a breathing treatment every 4 hours. so hopefully soon she will be done with this cold mess.

ok. well i better go.
hope everyone has a great week.
sorry this one was a little short but i more than anything just wanted to vent about the whole bank thing!

~baby days~

this is lylas new hair band! i think its pretty cute,

johnny says it looks like a peacock on her head :(

what do you think?

So, this weekend was pretty good. Friday I got off at 3 pm and hung out with Johnny until he left to go on his field trial. Saturday my brother and lyla and I went to the mall to try and find Johnny a carolina shirt (bc we had plans to go to the game on sunday) but I was unsuccessful with that excursion. So we went to my moms and her and my sister played with a Lyla a little bit and then my mom and I went to sams. Which by the way, for anyone who is reading this and you have a baby who drinks with formula, sams is the place to go to by baby formula! I got 3 packs of formula for $41 and I had a $3 off coupon, so i paid $38 for 3 packs. At Wal Mart and other places 1 pack of formula is about $25- so I would have spent $75 at any other place. So I made a savings of $37 dollars! which I think is pretty freaking amazing! ok anyway, then on sunday we slept in and my mom came again to play with lyla while we got ready for the game. We left about 2 to go to Chapel Hill. The game was awesome! by the way, Chapel Hill is just beautiful. I would really love to live there but I just hate the traffic! Plus there are other reasons why I shouldnt move there, but thats besides the point.
ok so to the reason why I named this entry baby days:
Johnny and I woke up to Lyla this morning with a stuffy nose and a cough! Poor Baby! when she got up this morning she was really wet with sweat and she was rather warm! So i took her in a her room and changed her diaper and clothes and checked her temp, it was 99.8! i was like oh boy! but i decided that i might need to check it again just in case the themomter was picking up where she was in her craddle. So after Johnny feed her i check her one more time and it  was 99.6! so i gave her some tylonel and took her to the mother in laws house. I told my mother in law the details and told her to check at the next feeding and to call me if got to 100 today!
HOWEVER! - I also think Lyla is teething! she has really been slobbering the past week or so and every time she gets her hands on something she puts it straight in her mouth! and on top of that she has had some runny diapers as well. So i guess the real baby days have now begun! oh what fun!
on top of lyla being sick, johnny is trying to be sick so i have 2 babies to take care of this week! this is going to be fun!
on top of the 2 sickies, i have a ton of homework to do before my class on wednesday night, which i dont really care for. there is alot of reading and writing! and i dont love either one!
anywho until next time.....

later taters!

OH THE SICK DAYS....

so it has now been one weeks and 3 days of this sickness. i went to the doctor on thursday and i have bronchitis/ sinuitis.... it sucks! so i am on antibiotics and mucinex and tussinex which by the way knocks me out! needless to say johnny has to listen out for lyla if i take cough syrup! however, today i am finally feeling better! i am still having some congestion in my head but, my chest is not hurting anymore thank god!

yesterday i went to the doctor just to have some things checked out and everything was great, EXCEPT for when i got on the scale to weigh.... ummmm lets just say i will now be a very strict diet for the next 6-8 months! i really need to slim down. i was actually depressed when i left the doctor yesterday... and then it didnt help that for dinner we had ribs and mac & chz for dinner... so starting today its major diet time! well minus this morning for breakfast, but only bc i had to take my meds!

well lyla is doing great! she is growing so much!!!! today she is 13 weeks old! and monday she goes back to the doctor for another round of shots :( poor baby.... it makes me cry to see her cry. so friday night i was so tired of being inside from being sick so johnny and i went and got something to eat. right when our food gets to the table, lyla starts crying uncontrolably! it was so bad! tears were just streaming down her face and she was screaming with everything she had- i quickly lost my appeptite. i gave her some gas drops and johnny took her outside and she finally calmed down and went to sleep. i dont know what was wrong with her. i think that it may have been the fact that she drank half her bottle in the car bc she was fussy bc she was hungry. but i am not sure... all i know is that i HATE seeing her cry like that.

so wednesday is my 2nd night of class. all i have to say about this class is that it will challenging. there are only 5 classes for this class but somehow this teacher wants us to write a paper almost everytime we walk in the door. its rediculous! but oh well i have to have it so that i can finish my health care managment program up.

other than all the drama of being sick, lyla is sleeping almost thru the night every night. which is soooo great!
also in march/ april she will be going to have easter/ 6 month pics taken! i am so excited! and i was informed this weekend by my moms husband that they would be paying for those photos! which i am even more excited about! he is so nice and he loves lyla !

well now it is time for me to get back to work.... :( - and not to mention that its cold today which sucks!

Valentines Day!

good morning!
and HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!
today is monday, which we all know i dont really love mondays....but its valentines day and i had a great weekend! some pretty exciting things happened this weekend.
1. on friday i left work at 12! so i went home and cleaned up some.
2. on saturday me and lyla and alex (my brother) went to dock dogs with karla and madison. which by the way i am thinking my dog needs to be in :) that is if i can teach how to stay and how to like the water. last year at the beach she didnt love the water... so i might have to work with her.
3. also on saturday night johnny and i went on a double date with my friends maryanne and bradley. and then we went bowling, which i am terrible at but it was fun!
4. on sunday, we took some furniture to my friend and then alex and i went and hung out with my mom. while were at my moms, lyla was having tummy time and she rolled over for me!!! 3 times!!!! i was soooo proud of her~ and i got to see it first!! which means alot to me. i have really been upset latley bc i dont get to see her during the day so i know i will miss alot of firsts.... so for me to see her roll for the first time was AMAZING! and to top it all off, i got a video of doing it! you can see it at the bottom of the page!

so now here is monday. since it is valentines days, i called my husband and asked him was he going to send me flowers... i hope he got the hint :) so we will see how that goes.
i LOVE valentines day bc i think its pretty amazing when you love someone as much as i love my husband and my baby. i never thought in a million years that it was possible to have so much love for one person. and after all the things we have been thru, i still love him more and more everyday. i still get butterflies when i see him after a long day........ aawww LOVE!

well i guess i should now get back to work.....
happy v-day blog world

here is the link for the video of lyla:

FRIDAY!!

well its friday. enough said!
so my plans for this weekend: saturday late morning me and lyla are going to doc dogs with my friend karla and madison while johnny goes hunting. then at 5pm johnny and i have a double date with 2 friends in greenville at the outback for an early valentines day! and then sunday... well probably go to church and then just chill the rest of the day...
so i have decided that everyday of the week i am going to clean one room in the house. that way my house might stay a little more organized ! its in a mess right now! so i think i am going to try and develop a sytem.
so anywho... baby lyla is doing great! she is def. starting to develop her personality! which is great! she is going to be on pretty girl for sure :)
well this is short.... but i do get off at 12 today so that means i need to get all my work done!
have a safe weekend peeps!

the sleepy days...

hello world,
well its after lunch time and i am sooooo sleepy..... i didnt want to get up this morning! i will be glad when saturday gets here and i might can catch a few naps before mine and johnnys double date! which i am sooo excited about.
today at lunch i went and got me a pair of jean leggings, more like skinny jeans, so that i can wear my new over the knee boots! which i am totally in love with!!!
so other than being sleepy... there is really not much going on.
my brother alex got his license yesterday, so everyone watch out!! and lyla was 3 months old yesterday!

well lyla might be having some pictures taken in march or april... gregg ward in washington has a special for easter with live bunnies!!! lyla will almost be 6 months then so it might be a good time to get her some pics done... so i am kind of excited about that! gregg takes awesome pictures!

well friday is def. my half day at work and im real excited! i might go home and nap for a little bit and then go pick up lyla ...who knows... thats 2 days away....
well this is real short.... but its time to work....
i hope i can remember to go get a check from my mom tonight for school....

ok ttyl world

tuesday-

good morning bloggers.
so lyla def slept all night again last night!!! she has really been an amazing baby!!! so as "they" say (who is they by the way?)- if the first baby is an angel, the next one will be a little devil! or the other way around. and no im not saying im ready for another one... that will for sure be a few years!!!
lylas personality is really beginning to show! i think she is going to be rather outgoing like her mommy! which is a good thing! she is 3 months old today... sure doesnt seem like 3 months ago i was in the hospital waiting on her to make her appearance! but i do have to say that being pregnant was a pretty amazing experience.
anywho- johnny finally got some work this week!!! yay!!! it might only be for one week but hey, thats better than not having any at all!
we also went and signed our wills this morning. we really had a tough time on decided who would take care of lyla if something happened to us.... but all in all i think we made the right decision. if anyone needs there wills or power of attorney or health care poa done, let me know! i know the man u need to see!

on another note, johnny starts back to class tonight and i start next week on wednesdays. i am actually ready to start back to school. this time i will be at mt olive. in feb and march i will just be taking some general courses that i needed and in april will start the health care managment program. i will do that for 36.5 weeks and then i will have my batchelors degree!!! which i am really exciting about. and then by the time i get done johnny should have his batchelors as well! so we are getting excited!

on a second note- i was driving this morning and i had a thought. well i dont know if u call it a thought bc i have thought it before but fo the lack of a better word or a word that im not sure about, it was a thought. you know sometimes i hate being in the same routine EVERY SINGLE DAY! i am sure many of you feel the same way... i have often times thought this but now i realize that with lyla and me and john going back to school, thats about to change! which i think is great! i love to be busy and do this and do that...

speaking of being busy, im pretty sure i want lyla to be in pageants! so when she is about 12 months old we will start putting her in some just to see if we like it. and then if she tells me she hates it, we will stop. but i am SUPER excited about it!!!

well i really need to get to work. i have typed enough.
later taters!!