Tomorrow is Lyla's first birthday.
I hardly have words to describe how this child make me feel. She has truely been a blessing for both Johnny and I.
I cant believe that one year ago I went to the doctor because of that stupid PUPPS rash thing and the doctor came in and saw what kind of mental state I was in, and announced that she was calling the hospital to see if we could get a room. When she walked out I remember looking Johnny, with scared eyes and asked "maybe we should wait"- but we call knew I couldnt wait because the PUPPS were about to put in a mental coma- not really- but thats how I felt. The doctor came back in and said, be at the hospital at 1 pm. We left there with a joyful but scared and anxious feeling. I remember, my mom, Johnny and I went and ate lunch at Zaxbys and called, texted and facebooked everyone we knew to let them know what was happening. (who knew that that Zaxbys meal would be the last food I would eat until almost 15 hours later.) We arrived at the hospital and I remember I was shaking so bad I couldnt fill out the paper work. A few mintues later all the fun began. I got hooked up to the iv and the potocin and more benadril for that rash. The nurse said maybe you should sleep while you can, whatever! there was no sleeping for this one who knew she was about to push out a baby. I think the rest is pretty much known that from 1:30pm to 3:54 am the next morning we went through contractions and an epidural. It was time for lyla to come but she was being stubborn with being faceup she didnt want to move. I remember being so so scared because by that point I was ready to quit. Johnny got in my face and encouraged me to not stop that lyla was almost here and I couldnt give up now, not after all this. So the vaccum was in place, at first it popped off, which by the way I did not love that sound!, then the doctor said ok one more time and if it doesnt work we have c-section papers ready for you. I said a silent prayer to myself to please send an angel to help both me and lyla. And well the rest is history and now she is truning one. ONE.
It just amazes me to see how much she has grown and how smart she is. From the first sitting up by herself to the first roll over, the first standing alone, the first tooth (which we thought was taking forever!), and the first smile, the first laugh, and now the first birthday.
I thank god everyday for this amazing gift that He gave Johnny and I. She is everything and more to us. I love her more than I love myself. When I look at her I see our lives and I see everyone in our families through her eyes. Especially my dad. I know alot of people dont see what I see, but I swear on days that I am missing my dad so bad it hurts, I look at her and I can see him looking at me. It honestly makes me tear up, but then I smile because I can feel him being there.
We had a birthday party for lyla on saturday. It was great. There were so many people with so many gifts, and we are truely blessed to have such great family and friends.
Well this was a long blog post but since I havent posted in a LONG time, I thought why not tell the pregnancy story...... so there you go.....
Now in December I will hopefully be traveling to California to help my best friend deliver her first baby :) I can not express how excited I am for her and her husband, but more than that I am truley thankful for her asking me to be in the delivery room. There is no one in the world I would rather help than her :) She is amazing! and I know her baby girl will be!
Well- Its time to wipe my tears away and get back to work-
