trying time~

well needless to say, this past week has been rough. my dear friend's husband died wednesday, which happens to be mine and johnnys friend as well. it is so hard to grasp the concept that he is gone. on monday or tuesday, stephanie (his wife) and i were planning our weekend adventure and also his birthday which is coming up this weekend.... and then all of a sudden those plans didnt exsist anymore. it has been so hard on stephanie, but i am glad i could be with her and comfort her in her time of need before her family arrived. besides the day or should i say week, that my dad died, that week and last week were the two longest weeks of my life. HOWEVER, as i was staying with my friend it finally hit me like a ton of bricks. i finally knew why god put me through so much pain when my dad died. i used to question all the time, lord why did you do this to me? why do i have to be the one who has to suffer and expierence my heart being ripped away? it hit me on wednesday night, god put me through that trying time so that i could help my friend. for 2 years i wondered why i needed to expeirence that tragedy, and now i know.
stephanie, i dont know if your reading this, but i hope in some ways i helped you last week. my heart goes out to you. i in know way can compare my situation to yours, but i know how it feels to loose something sooo close to you. i only hope that you can find comfort and peace in the good memories you had with matt.

so many times, we all take things and people for granted. and its times like these that you wish you hadnt have done that. this past week has really opened my eyes to be thankful for right now bc we obviously dont know what the day holds.
all my love and prayers are going out...

to top all that off, my granddad was put back in the hospital one wednesday or thursday with accute renal faliure. he is better now and back home. i really need to get over there to see him and the rest of the family but timing is everything. i also was supposed to go over to my dads grave this weekend to put out summer flowers and to clean his stone up but things came up, well i say things came up but honestly i didnt want to go. i had already had such an emotional week that i didnt want to face it. BUT i am hope within the next week or so i can go over there.

well with all that being said, the lord surely works in myterious ways.... whether it be a sudden revelation, a sign in the sky, or just anything, He is always tyring to tell you something. He is always there, even when you feel the most alone.... just keep that in mind

weekend trials and mondays~

well friday night was a success. johnny and i went to go see joel osteen and we spent the night in raleigh. joel was amazing. he is truely an awesome person and extremely encouraging . not only did we hear from him but his mom was there, for those of who do not know anything about the osteens, his mom had liver cancer and was only given weeks to live, but here she is 30 years later. she talked about how she never gave up and how she knew god had more and bigger plans for her! she is a strong woman for sure. we also heard the testimony of _____ ratcliff, i cant remember her first name.. anyway she talked about how her and husband tried and tried for years to have a baby, and finally after about giving up she was preggers. then time pasted and the baby she had wanted to know when he was going to have a baby sister and brother. and so the trials began again. after about 5 years the little boy says "mommy maybe for christmas santa will bring a little sister and a big brother" and so as a family they prayed. months later she received a phone call from an old friend and was asked did she want to adopt twins. long story short, they adopted the twins, a boy and a girl and after calcualting dates, they girl who had the twins had concieved the babies on christmas :) she then sang a beautiful song and as she sang, pictures and videos of her kids played. it was obviously at this point, that i and every other woman in the building were crying. anyway, it was just a wonderful time.

so after calling to check on lyla for the 1,000 time, i finally went to sleep. i of course called when i got back up the next morning. she did awesome while we were away and i am sooo proud of her, well and proud of myself for not crying when i left her. however, there will probably not be anymore over night dates again until i leave for california in august.

well so after an eventful weekend, monday came..... we all know how i LOVE mondays--- and yesterday was one of those mondays that i wanted to kick in the mouth! as soon i as woke up my dad was heavy on my mind. but i talked to my sissy and she gave me a bbm hug (love u heather) -- and things were better. then i get to work....well we wont even talk about that..... and then i get home and needless to say, no one had a good monday. so yeah

well now im excited. my sister is coming back this weekend!!!!! wooohooo! bc i miss her and my landyn. saturday, i think in the morning we are going to dads grave to get it cleaned up and get his summer flowers put out. then its off to my moms were im sure we will do something exciting. and then its movie in the park night!!! which im realyl excited about. im probably more excited than the kids... but i guess thats the kid in me :)

here are a few new pics if u havent already seen them on fb

this is lyla and her new hair bow!! it finally will go in her hair!

oh just my little family :) how cute are we, right?

and my little sleepy lyla bug- she LOVES to sleep on her mama and her daddy

this is where she sleeps best and where i sometimes sleep the most peaceful

bc i know she is there with me and nothing will happen :)

update time~

well here it is wedneday july 13! i cant believe its already july and half way thru july at that!
lets see what been going on.... this past weekend we went a river party that my boss had at his river house and then we went to a wedding that same day. it was really pretty and fun! and then on sunday we took my mom to crabby pattys in havelock to eat for her birthday which was yesterday but she should now be in paris! so we wont be seeing her or alex until next week sometime.
also lyla will be 8months old this week!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant believe it. im just in shock that 8 months ago i was laying in that room anxiously awaiting her arrival.... and now any day she will be crawling and im pretty sure she will be walking real soon after that bc now she loves to walk if i hold her hands. i surely do love her to death. i tell her everyday how pretty she is and how much she is loved by me and her daddy :)
so i guess its almost time to start planning her 1 year birthday!!!! fun times ahead!
well on another note, firday johnny and i will be goign to raleigh to see joel osteen and we will be staying the night. so this will be first night without lyla being with us. we are nervous and anxious and paniced about the situation but we both now we need the time away. so we shall see how hard i cry when we leave the drive way....
and so that leads me to this. i will now be going california aug 3-7 without lyla and johnny! i am soooo nervous i dont know what to do. i am going to with my mom and brother and while im sure we will have tons of fun, i dont love the fact i will be leaving my baby for almost a week. needless to say, skpe will become my best friend! however, i am exciting that i might get the chance to see my bestest friend iriany while i am there. i have been so sad since she left this past week, i just miss her! and since she's preggers, i am trying to arrangments to go see her the whole week of her due date so that i might can be there for the delivery... we shall see...... oh what fun times ahead.....
so now with all that said, i must go

July updates

Well Lyla really LOVED the fireworks !!! she stood up on my legs and just jabbered away and took both her arms and reached in the sky like she wanted to grab them! i took a video but it didnt turn out so great....
earlier that day we went to new bern to the little festival they had. it was neat, but not too much was going on. we did go walking in and out of the little shops and i got a pair of crocks and johnny got a mt dew shirt. the one i thing i saw for lyla was too expensive! so she didnt get anything, except a nice nap :)

well now other than the fireworks adventure nothing to exciting has been going on. i did get lyla a pool and hopefully when i get home i can it blowed up and put some water in it.
this weekend, we have a wedding and a river party to attend. im not sure if we will do both or not... we shall see. then next weekend is the big weekend...... leaving lyla for the first night since she was born....... (anxiety- panic face)  
we will see how that goes.
oh my moms birthday is next week but she will be in paris! so hopefully we can get together on sunday and celebrate her birthday- and im praying the gift i got her is in the mail before then too!!!
lets see and coming up is also mine and johnnys 2 year wedding anniversary!!! it just seems like yesterday that we got married. I am so glad i married my best friend in the whole wide world. i couldnt have asked for a better husband and father! he is the best!!!!!