trying time~

well needless to say, this past week has been rough. my dear friend's husband died wednesday, which happens to be mine and johnnys friend as well. it is so hard to grasp the concept that he is gone. on monday or tuesday, stephanie (his wife) and i were planning our weekend adventure and also his birthday which is coming up this weekend.... and then all of a sudden those plans didnt exsist anymore. it has been so hard on stephanie, but i am glad i could be with her and comfort her in her time of need before her family arrived. besides the day or should i say week, that my dad died, that week and last week were the two longest weeks of my life. HOWEVER, as i was staying with my friend it finally hit me like a ton of bricks. i finally knew why god put me through so much pain when my dad died. i used to question all the time, lord why did you do this to me? why do i have to be the one who has to suffer and expierence my heart being ripped away? it hit me on wednesday night, god put me through that trying time so that i could help my friend. for 2 years i wondered why i needed to expeirence that tragedy, and now i know.
stephanie, i dont know if your reading this, but i hope in some ways i helped you last week. my heart goes out to you. i in know way can compare my situation to yours, but i know how it feels to loose something sooo close to you. i only hope that you can find comfort and peace in the good memories you had with matt.

so many times, we all take things and people for granted. and its times like these that you wish you hadnt have done that. this past week has really opened my eyes to be thankful for right now bc we obviously dont know what the day holds.
all my love and prayers are going out...

to top all that off, my granddad was put back in the hospital one wednesday or thursday with accute renal faliure. he is better now and back home. i really need to get over there to see him and the rest of the family but timing is everything. i also was supposed to go over to my dads grave this weekend to put out summer flowers and to clean his stone up but things came up, well i say things came up but honestly i didnt want to go. i had already had such an emotional week that i didnt want to face it. BUT i am hope within the next week or so i can go over there.

well with all that being said, the lord surely works in myterious ways.... whether it be a sudden revelation, a sign in the sky, or just anything, He is always tyring to tell you something. He is always there, even when you feel the most alone.... just keep that in mind